here’s my problem.
i push people away when in reality I really need them as close as they’ve ever been. I’m afraid to tell others how i feel cause, well if i admitit to someone.. then it’s actually true to me. i like to run away, i like to go so far away from what’s real that i end up getting confused and overwhelmed at the end. I scare myself sometimes &i feel like if i can’t even deal with myself..then how is anyone else supposed to? I try to be this person i would ideally like to be. sometimes it fits just fine, other times i feel like im in my own grave. i never seem to understand that thru all this, i still hurt people. if i hide, i hurt the ones i love to death. if i say all, i fear that it’ll just be too much for another to handle.I don’t ever want to be a person that has too much going on sso that im not there for someone . this whole time i’ve tried to be that one person anyone could go to so it would seem like i am the slightest bit sane.but i’m a mess and i’m trying. im so sorry but it’s never been an easy thing for me to tell all,i just dont know where i am right now.
